我就是这副样子

作家 Anne Lamott 年轻的时候因为太过敏感而酗酒,成功戒酒之后依然对这段过往感到羞耻。直到有一天她的朋友 Tom Western(音)告诉她做人的5个法则,Anne 说她的人生就从发生改变

  1. You must not have anything different or wrong with you.
  2. If you do,you really have to get over it as quickly as you can.
  3. If you can not get over it or fix it,you should pretend you have,that it is really not an issue anymore.
  4. If you can not even pretend you have corrected it,you should just not show up, because it is just painful for the rest of us to have to see you in your current condition.
  5. If you are going to insist on the right to show up,you should just have the decency to be ashamed.

1,你必须完全接受自己,不认为自己有任何不对。
2,如果你还做不到,你必须赶紧跨过这道坎。
3,如果你跨不过去,你应该假装你已经跨过去,假装你已经没有问题。
4,如果你连假装都做不到,你就别出现。因为这样的你会让其他人为你的状况感到痛苦。
5,如果你坚持自己出现的权利,你至少应该有感到难为情的自觉。

Anne 说她早年总是喜欢扮演成功的,可爱的,招人喜欢的女孩,来掩盖内心对于酗酒的过往而感到的羞愧。直到32岁左右,听到这段话之后,她终于感到释怀。

她决定接受自己的过去,自己的样子,以完全自我的形态出现,包括自己怪异的发型(的确很独特),瘦小的体型,超级过度敏感(hyper sensitivity)的神经,以及敞开的胸怀。

接着她说:

I was not going to be ashamed, if it is a problem for you, then you are going to have to go.

我就是这副样子。

如果你看不惯,那是你的问题,不得不走开的是你。